To: Utter Discontent, Regional Manager for Church Manipulation Services (N. America)
From: Discord N. Malice, VP for 8th Circle of Hell (Global Initiative branch)
Subject: New Developments, Artist Project
Date: [this line damaged in transit]
My associates and I are very pleased with your progress on the Art Project. I spoke with the CEO yesterday, and he informed me he was especially glad to see Despair’s recent reports. Thanks to your efforts, churches across the North American continent are firmly convinced artistic talent has no place in serving their master. Your results convincing the Protestant branches to misapply their Master’s commands on the subjects of evil, sacred as opposed to secular work, and the supposed “final battle” have been particularly good.
However, you no doubt remember the primary purpose of the Art Project goes beyond convincing churches to ignore or mistreat artists. Successful as your efforts have been, the CEO and I agree that it’s time to implement Phase 2. This next phase will involve targeting both the established market and our new targets – the artists themselves. You’ve created the ideal atmosphere for artists to hate and reject churches; moving forward, we must enable them to act on this motivation.
This process will involve some added responsibilities, giving you the opportunity to show your management skills in new areas. Extra staff to help with these new responsibilities will arrive in two weeks – including Indignation, whom you remember from the Washington Project. He’s been following your progress from the start and seems excited to work with you again.
New materials for Phase 2 should arrive at your office soon, you’ll find that most of it is simply an extension of principles and ideas from Phase 1. I particularly recommend the CEO’s latest book, “6 Ways to Make Christians Give Up On Church,” and Indignation’s new pamphlet “Turning Righteous Anger into Bitterness and Pride.” We will also slowly reduce the amount of Phase 1 material we send, so storage space should not be a problem.
If you have any other concerns about this transition, feel free to reach me by the usual methods. I should get back to you within 24 hours at the latest.
(This piece first published by The Odyssey on March 13, 2017).